Summer time To-Do: Lists

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As many are aware, I am an avid reader and tv watcher. Seeing as it’s mid-June and all the regular prime time shows are off sipping Bahama Mamas, it’s time for us to start tackling our Summer lists. You have those too right?

What’s on yours?

The final season of Dexter? Showing some Toronto love for Rookie Blue?

What pages are you currently turning? I’m 39 pages into the Delirium series by Lauren Oliver and can’t wait to let the obsession take over!

Soooooo…..what’s on yours? Let’s compare notes…..er…lists.

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The big reveal…

north·west (nôrth-webreve.gifstprime.gif, nôr-webreve.gifstprime.gif)
n.
1. Abbr. NW The direction or point on the mariner’s compass halfway between due north and due west, or 45° west of due north.
2. An area or region lying in the northwest.
3. Northwest
a. A historical region of the north-central United States west of the Mississippi River and north of the Missouri River.
b. A region of the northwest United States, generally including Washington, Oregon, and Idaho.

adj.
1. To, toward, of, facing, or in the northwest.
2. Originating in or coming from the northwest: a northwest wind.

adv.
In, from, or toward the northwest.

Truth.
1. Not a name

O Canada…

This probably isn’t going to start the way you expect, judging from the title…but…

Today I finally brought myself to watch the finale of Fringe, which is an amazingly underrated show that came to a fantastic conclusion, leaving the fans satisfied and only slightly sad over it being yanked from the air prematurely. Joshua Jackson stars in Fringe. He is Canadian. And adorable.

So, I did like most other tv fanatics do once the show was over and my puffy, swollen red eyes had returned to normal (I swear Kleenex tissue owes me money or stocks or something…). I looked up interviews on YouTube. Many of them. Hours of them…

One video lead to another, lead to another…and then I found myself watching JJ’s interview with George Stroumboulopoulos. He has a few, and yes I watched them all. Actually, “re-watched” them might be a more realistic and honest statement. It is tres hard to concentrate on two beautiful male specimen, but then I realized that in one of the videos he was promoting his movie, “One Week”…and then further realized that I have yet to watch this film. I know….blasphemy.

It has been on my list since I saw the previews, many moons ago. But those that know me well, know that my “list” is long and ever-expanding. It even has categories…tv shows, movies, documentaries…. so, suffice it to say, I was a bad Canadian. Until today.

I was blown away. The story is heart-felt and tragic. Simple and honest.  Not only is JJ amazing in this role, the movie showcases Canadian sights, monuments, laughs at stereotypes and is chalk-full of Canadian artists and music. It also puts a spotlight on just how big and beautiful our country is. And, just how little of it I’ve seen. Hopefully that changes. As numerous places are on my list. A different list. I like lists…

Watching “One Week” also made me feel extremely happy. Happy that JJ is being true to his roots and acted/produced a movie that is so Canadian, if you are not from this glorious country, you just might not get it. There are a handful of actors out there that do this; Joshua Jackson, Jay Baruchel, Sarha Polley, Seth Rogen to name a few. Yes – we all know the Ryans are Canadian, but have they acted in a film shot in Canada, that was supposed to be set IN Canada? If so, please inform me of them….they will be added to the list. It was just so refreshing.

Normally these posts are just a way for me to publicly vent and rant…but not tonight. Tonight I am simply proud to be Canadian. Proud to live in such a beautiful and diverse county. Where it is completely acceptable to write about how crazy you are with respect to media and lists and admit that throughout the spectacular film you just watched, in the back of your mind, “ducks ducks ducks…” was silently being chanted, without being judged. At least, not too harshly…

 

 “To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield”

 

And people wonder why…

The other morning, on CP24, Santa was taking questions on-air from callers.

A little boy, approximately 4 years old, called in. He wanted to know what Santa’s favourite cookie was, so that he could bake it and leave it out.

The answer…

….that Santa was on a “diet” and needed to eat more “healthier”, so he should leave out fruits and veggies for him instead.

Are you fucking kidding me?!?! Aside from the fact that Santa is a mythical being….

This is just one of the many reasons why the world is full of youngsters who are consumed by how they look, how much they weigh, do they “fit in” and what do they need to do to “fit in”….

It is also why there are so many children (males and females) out there struggling with eating disorders and body image issues….so many…too many to count…endless wait-lists just to receive an assessment, let alone the help and services they are in desperate need of.

And I know what people are going to say, how can one little comment mean so much? And, isn’t it better to promote a “healthier lifestyle” ?

I am all for teaching children how to eat a well-balanced meal, but at what cost?

I mean, if Santa, the jolliest person around, is worried about his figure…..

When eating disorders become the “normal”, and reach epidemic numbers, then maybe people will start to realize that what they say and the messages they are putting out into the world is what affects society the most.

Or will they have already moved onto the newest “trend”…and still be wondering why….

***credit to my co-worker A for bringing this topic of discussion to the table.

‘You are my forever…’

That’s what Bachelor Ben said to bitch-face Courtney as he got down on one knee Monday night.

Fuck. Right. Off.

I’m all for romance and professing your undying love. I even accepted the fact that he was going to choose She Who Should Not Be Named. However unbearable she was…. ‘winning!!!!!!’
( I wish I could pretend straight shoot you in the face! – insert double sideways finger guns here)

But tell me something, Mr. Flajnik ( who i was a MASSIVE fan of and still, admittedly, think is suuuuuper adorable)….is not talking to your model girlfriend for three weeks after you viewed what a ginormous c-bag she was on the show your idea of ‘forever’???

What a crock.

If you’re going to willingly choose her, then at least stand by your decision. And your fiancé.

Now that would be ‘reality’

‘you have one job to do…’

That was my friend, Ashley’s comment as we had a girly mani-pedi date at a, what seemed like, acceptable place of business in Oakville.

Let’s back it up a bit shall we…

They always try to win you over.

‘You want to do Bio-gel?’

That’s the kicker. Then they show you the pretty nails and how wonderful they look. You imagine the designs and colours that will transform your dull and dingy man-nails into those that grace the likes of all pop stars and models around.

‘Sure!’ you say/half-yell as you grin like a bumbling idiot.

And then reality sets in a few days after you leave the nail salon feeling (and looking) like a million bucks…your nails begin to grow. And then they don’t look so much ‘million dollar’ as they do ‘Dollarama’.

You start picking at them. One or two breaks/pops off. You even try covering them with your own nail polish in a quick attempt at manicure recovery. Nothing brings back the goodness…

You surrender and either go have them removed (for an additional cost of course) or slowly but surely get them off on your own. A painful but proud accomplishment.

That was Ashley and my state of affairs when we walked into said salon last Friday. Except, I still had 10 1/2 shellacked nails to deal with…but that’s a different tale of events.

The pedicures were great. Still is great…

The shellac on my finger nails required a ‘special’ removal process (which of course is not explained to you when they sucker you in with applying shellac in the first place. See above statement regarding ‘bumbling idiot’.) The ‘special removal process’ consisted of dousing cotton balls with Acetone and securing them to my nails with tinfoil. That’s right. I looked like Edward Scissorhands, with nubs…

On to the manicures. Both Ashley and my experiences were quite similar. Same lines and vocabulary, different nail ‘technicians’.

After removing the remaining tinfoil wraps from my fingers (as I left a trail as they fell off during the walk from spa chair to manicure desk) – I let the ‘technician’ know I had recently taken off acrylic nails and that mine were still super sensitive.

”No problem” was all she said, as she used her bamboo torture device to begin to scrap off the remaining shellac.

Never in my life have I heard myself make that sound as I yanked my hand back and cradled it like a new born baby.

‘Oh! You have thin nails. Very thin. You want Bio-gel? Acrylic?’

Seriously lady.

First you tell me what I already warned you about, after causing serious bodily harm, and then you expect me to ‘upgrade’ to the very thing that has put me in this situation in the first place??

I knew the words that would come out of my mouth would be vulgar and inappropriate. And there was a lovely middle-aged woman sitting at the table next to me. I simply shook my head ‘no’

I allowed the ‘technician’ to continue on her way. She finally went to get the colour I had told her about 5 times was left at the spa chair – seriously, 5 times as she giggled and nodded her understanding ( I use this term loosely).

And then the polish application began.

My 14 month old nephew has brought home artwork from daycare where he has stayed within the lines better than this lady.

The steam was probably visible to others by this point.

As I walked from the polish station to the dry station, I passed Ashley – who was 1/2 way through her manicure and polish application. I observed her looking at her freshly painted nails as the words floated easily from her mouth as she shook her head in awe…

‘you have one job to do…’

As I sit her writing this 4 days later – with bare fingers nails as the chipping began within 2 hours of my $45 splurge and concluded as I picked the rest off during my overnight shift last night – I vow never again to allow such materialistic glamour to persuade me to par-take in such idiotic behavior.

I could have purchased a new pair of shoes with the $45 I spent on my so-called mani/pedi combo (not to mention the dollar bills that I threw away on the original cause of my nails demise)…

Or a new purse…

Or had 4 glasses of wine…

You know, important and realistic things to spend one’s money on.

I shall try to remember this in about 6 months. When I see how ‘pretty’ the lady next to me looks with her freshly manicured nails.

I will try. But usually the wine prevents short term memory from assisting me in my decision making.