When TV feels likes Real Life….

thanks Shonda

****contains spoliers from Thursay April 23rd episode of Grey’s Anatomy***

Thanks Shonda. WTF

It’s been 3 days and still, Derek’s dead.

I’m not really sure what happened on Thursday night, it all seems like a blur. Like it was a dream or a sequence that I imagined. But, considering I received about 10 text messages from concerned friends and took part in numerous conversations since then, I’m guessing it’s “real”.

And that’s exactly how it feels to me – and a few others I am assuming based on social media posts and conversations with friends, family members and random strangers – it feels real. It feels like we all lost an actual human being, and not a television character. And that, is fucked. Or is it? Is that what great television is all about? When the writing is so good that it makes you feel like you are experiencing real life events or that these characters that are invited into our houses every week (or for numerous hours at a time if you are a binge-watcher) are actual people – that have feelings, and can have such an impact on you – is that it? The purpose?

I have no clue. All I know is, that after 11 years – ELEVEN YEARS – of watching Grey’s Anatomy, they decided to kill off the male lead. Derek Shepherd. The Der of Mer/Der…is dead. Now what?

How do you tune into a show that admittedly, has moments of slow storylines or ridiculous plots but you still watch anyways because of Meredith and Derek, makes the end result that you have invisioned all these years unattainable? What is even the point now? What is there to look forward to? And better yet, how do you fix this void left in your TV-watching soul?

There are so many rumours and reports floating around about why Patrick Depmsey left/was written off. But does all of that even mean anything? How do you have a show when the male lead to your female lead – who has spent the last 11 seasons building a life and foundation together – dies? I just don’t understand. Please, someone explain it to me.

And now, we are left with Miserable Meredith, who is tolerable on a good day. Now we have to watch her “move on” and “get her shit together for the sake of her children” all without Derek. Because, let’s be real….all Meredith ever does is “move on” and “get her shit together” but we tolerate it and watch it, BECAUSE OF DEREK. Meredith only smiles and laughs and lets herself be someone other than a raging, stubborn, cynical Debbie Downer, when she is with Derek. So, now what? How many seasons do we have to put up with this “new chapter of her life” before the people at Shondaland realize what a fucking disasterous mistake they have made?

All actors have “diva attitude”…BECAUSE THEY ARE ACTORS…you deal with it. You write their storylines to include new jobs in DC, not kill them off. Because when you kill them off, you lose fans. And the fans, are your viewers. And the viewers give you the ratings that give you the money to keep making television shows and create a world of your own that you can tag “Shondaland”. You don’t kill them off and leave us with nothing but Miserable Meredith.

There is really not point to this rant, aside from the fact that it is 3 days later and I still have “Chasing Cars” stuck in my head and every now and then think, Derek is dead…fuck you Grey’s Anatomy. So really, I guess the point of this is that I have a problem, and my problem is that sometimes, TV feels like real life.

But what do they say? Admitting there is a problem is the first step….